When people give you advice at school it kind of just goes over your head. I mean, I was never one to listen when my friends told me my winged liner looked horrific. Looking back, i’m not sure why I didn’t listen since, as a matter of fact, it did. If you want proof, you only have to look through my old profile photos on Facebook. (Please don’t). But time goes by, we live and we learn – and thank goodness we do. I’m using makeup as an example because that is my passion, but think of it as a metaphor for life. If you don’t start off with shocking eyeliner, and that’s shocking in a bad way, how are you going to improve and learn to perfect that 10/10 sharp flick?
Winged eyeliner aside, it took a long time for me to properly GLO up in other ways too. At age 16, I was desperate to be a skinny pretty girl and was probably not either of those things. Eventually, I learnt to love myself, but it takes time for these things to evolve. Makeup was a big development for me – because, real talk – what can a blinding highlight and a smooth, flawless foundation not fix? But in all honesty, I did the whole weight loss thing and now I look back and I wish I had just not cared. Sure, it’s easier said than done, but even losing weight couldn’t beat those crafty doubt demons. It is more important to see and comprehend your inner beauty and let that be your guide. I’m getting a bit philosophical for my taste now, so on we shall move.
I’m going to talk about B O Y S now. I spell it like that because at 16 years old, little Siobhan was absolutely clueless. When I say clueless, I mean to the extent that my first boyfriend is now very gay and I did not suspect a single thing. I would have told my younger self to stop acting like boys are a strange race of alien (although, I’m sure all girls still suspect that sometimes, am I right ladies) and talk. Make friends with boys. Flirt with boys. Even be a little bit mean if I feel like it. I wasted a lot of time in my all girls secondary school moping and daydreaming when in reality I should have been out there, wrecking havoc on all of boy kind. Where was my sense of independence? Where was my girl power? Where was Beyoncé’s iconic 2014 album when I needed it? These are the questions that keep me up at night.
My 21st birthday was yesterday. I am five years older than little 16 year old Siobhan, and I like to think about what I might be reflecting on in another 5 years. I’ll be older, sure, but will I be wiser? We are all creatures of habit. But we can’t dwell on what was, and what we can’t change. I would have told my 16 year old self to get it together, stop being so self conscious and to not take life so seriously, but all I can do is walk forward with positivity and enthusiasm, do my makeup cute and wave to the haters as I go. After all, I think that’s the most important thing to remember. Who cares about being wiser, anyway? We’re only here once, so why not have some fun?
Until next time,